The Simple Relationships Blog

The birth of our twins was far from ideal. Born 5 weeks early, Natalie was rushed to an emergency c-section after 17 hours of labor. When our kids were born, I was out of the room and Natalie was unconscious. Despite the stress and the high potential for emotional trauma, we walked out of that experience more or less unscathed. How? By applying the tools we teach on this platform.

1. Set realistic expectations.

2. Release the things you can't control.

3. Focus on what is going right, not on what is going wrong.

And there's lot's more where that came from! We hope our story helps to demonstrate how these tools can truly impact your life and help you maintain peace even in the most dire of circumstances.

- Danny & Natalie

Every good story has conflict. There is always a challenge that seems difficult, maybe even impossible, but through overwhelming sacrifice and suffering and hard work, the hero gets stronger. The strength they gained, the friends they made, and the lessons they learned in the depths of their despair were exactly what they needed to overcome their previously unbeatable foe. Victory is achieved, peace returns, and the hero winds up stronger than ever.

This story arc is called “The Hero’s Journey.” It’s a story we all connect with because it’s a story we live out thousands of times in our own lives. Learning to ride your bike, finding your first job, navigating your first romantic relationship, each one involves venturing into the unknown and undergoing the growth pains necessary in order to reach the prize.

But there is another character in these stories as well. There is the poor family starving under the oppressive rule of an evil emperor. There is the...

It’s kind of funny how the phrase “my truth” gets thrown around a lot these days. What people really mean to say is “my belief,” “my perception,” or “my opinion.” If I have gotten a clean, crisp $5 bill under my pillow every time I lost a tooth, then the Tooth Fairy is real according to “my truth.” After all, it has happened every time without fail! Of course it must be true!

However, this famous scriptural phrase, spoken by Jesus Christ himself, does not say “YOUR truth will set you free.” He says “THE truth will set you free.” It’s not a subjective “well that’s the way I see it” kind of truth. It’s the down and dirty, brass tacks, universally and definitively factual kind of truth that can truly set you free.

Let’s go back to our friend who believes in the Tooth Fairy. He’s currently disappointed because he has been waking up on a pillow...

Whether it is loss of loved ones, divorce, abuse, heartbreak, or someone leaving your life, this pain is deep and persistent. The hardest part is often feeling like you never got answers or the closure that you needed, or if closure was even possible.

Many times, the pain can be scary to confront because to truly be free of the pain from past relationships, you are going to have to let the relationship go. No matter how good or bad the relationship was, we will hold on because we can't stand the thought of them actually being gone, even if it's just their memory.

Holding onto past relationships creates two major problems.

1) We may not be able to fully heal from any trauma that was experienced in that relationship.

2) Holding onto that person may be taking up the place of a new relationship that will help to fill the emotional hole that the person before left.

Another word for "letting go" is "grieving." This word is often understood but what it means is...

Why does it seems like emotional pain in our relationships is unavoidable? Is there a way to get to the bottom of it?

When your heart is hurting, there are 3 primary causes for the pain: Offense, Memories, and Past Relationships. Today, lets talk about offense.

When someone hurts you, purposely or accidentally, that is what is considered an "offense". Offense by definition is “A breach of a law or rule, an illegal act. Annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult” (note: perceived)

Offense happens to all of us daily (whether we like to admit it or not) and in correlation with the dictionary definition, we like to define it as when people break “our law”. Did you know that we each have an internal expectation of the way things "should happen" in our lives and relationships? When those expectations are not met, offense happens. This can be us OR other people not meeting our internal expectations and varies easily person to person. Some offenses...

"You should just know what's bothering me."

• While it would be great if they did, mind-reading is a myth and good communication is a skill of maturity. If you're only willing to do relationship with mind-readers, I...