We get better one step at a time. Choose a blog and take a step.
There’s an expression that says “Expectations are just planned resentments” and there is a lot of truth to that statement. An expectation is just our idea of the way that we think things are going to happen. When our expectation isn’t met, we feel like what we got less than we deserved, which leads to disappointment. Then hot on the heels of disappointment comes resentment, which is defined as “bitter indignation [anger or annoyance] at having been treated unfairly.” As you can see, consistent disappointment is a recipe for some serious resentment in your relationships.
High expectations, when clearly communicated, can inspire people to work towards a noble goal but they often don’t bode well for your relationships. If you expect to be invited to all your work friends’ weddings, if you expect your grandkids to call you regularly when you have made no efforts to call them, if you expect your spouse to have sex with you 3 times a day,...
It’s kind of funny how the phrase “my truth” gets thrown around a lot these days. What people really mean to say is “my belief,” “my perception,” or “my opinion.” If I have gotten a clean, crisp $5 bill under my pillow every time I lost a tooth, then the Tooth Fairy is real according to “my truth.” After all, it has happened every time without fail! Of course it must be true!
However, this famous scriptural phrase, spoken by Jesus Christ himself, does not say “YOUR truth will set you free.” He says “THE truth will set you free.” It’s not a subjective “well that’s the way I see it” kind of truth. It’s the down and dirty, brass tacks, universally and definitively factual kind of truth that can truly set you free.
Let’s go back to our friend who believes in the Tooth Fairy. He’s currently disappointed because he has been waking up on a pillow...
"You should just know what's bothering me."
Reality is a funny thing. While reality itself only has one truth, we all perceive reality differently. This gets difficult when someone walks up to you telling you off about something you have done when, in reality (the REAL reality), you did nothing wrong! In his book "How to Stop the Pain," Dr. James Richards explains that the people who are most prone to this kind of misperception are people with low self-worth. Let me explain.
In his book, Dr. Richards tells a story about how his stepfather was a violent and insecure man. He would begin most of his explosive arguments with the phrase "Do you think I'm stupid or something?!" He would lash out at strangers for looking at him funny and even attack his loved ones because HE thought that THEY thought that he was stupid. As Dr. Richards writes, "What he never realized was that HE was the one who thought he was stupid."
When we think we're not good enough, that we're flawed and unworthy of love, we often believe that others think...
50% Complete
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.